How does one "announce" a break-up on a blog? Should one even announce it all? Is that disrespectful to one or both parties involved? Would it open a can of worms that shouldn't even be touched? Should one assume readers are clever enough to figure it out eventually by not mentioning his name anymore? How should one word such an announcement? What will the other person think and feel?
The truth is I don't have an answer to any of these questions. But what I do know is that the purpose of this blog is to share my life with others, to express myself, to inspire and teach, and to connect with others who may be going through similar things in life. And when you make the hardest decision of your life to end a 4.5+ year relationship, you can't hide it, you can't pretend it didn't happen, and you certainly can't stop others from helping you get back on your feet again.
I posted last week about being at a loss for words and while some of it had to do with my professional life and just struggling through the early 20s (and many of you gave such amazing feedback--thank you), most of it had to do with gaining strength and finding answers to the scary questions and worries in my heart. When you love someone more than you ever knew possible, making changes and decisions that prevent you from being with that person seem impossible, terrifying, and heart-wrenching, even when you know they are the right thing. It's never a simple decision; there's no clear right or wrong answer. Even when you find the courage to choose the "right" path, there will always be doubts, questions, what-ifs, and pain.
I chose this path. I already wish I hadn't taken it. Those doubts, questions, and what-ifs taunt me endlessly; and the pain--the all-consuming heartache--strikes me suddenly and unexpectedly. But I know that I must. keep. going. and trust myself.
The purpose of this post is not to ask for your sympathy or pity. But what I do ask is that you say a prayer or share some well wishes to someone whose heart is hurting. I'm grateful that I have family and friends who can lift me up and keep me strong and I wish that for everyone who is lost in love.
It's a long road ahead and I am both dreading and anxious for every step of the way, but I am hopeful for a happy future for all involved.
Thanks for stopping by today. Lots of love.